My mom and I have revived this midnight hot chocolate routine; she makes, I drink. We lapsed back into it after nixing the midnight popcorn routine, which ended the day she read about the carcinogens in microwave popcorn in an issue of First-either one with Dr. Oz on the cover or every other one with the lady who lost a bunch of weight. I’d learned about Orville Redencancer months before from my nursing-student-counsin, but figured I’m already getting cancer from my phone, my gum, my yearly dental x-rays to check on the gum’s latest damage and sunshine. Last night I tried my hot chocolate with soy milk; not so good, even though at Starbucks it’s great (P.S. I hate Starbucks. P.P.S. Still, at home I drink my hot chocolate out of a 16 oz. ceramic Starbucks cup).
Microwave milk for three minutes.
Put threeish scoops of Ovaltine in cup with marshmallows.
Pour milk on mix.
Microwave for 30 seconds so the marshmallows melt and taste less like aged Peeps.
Just to be clear, I can make the hot chocolate myself, I just don’t. In the past, I’d scrape all the melted marshmallows off the top with a reusable chopstick, and then proceed to drink the hot chocolate plain. If you take a sip of hot chocolate with melted marshmallows on top, I find that your upper lip and nose get sticky, and that’s irritating, and you don’t want to get up and wash your face the second you sat down with your sixth grader snack. There have been two marshmallow options, both subpar: Kraft Jet-Puffed and Kraft Jet-Puffed Miniature, which are actually regular sized, only miniature compared to the big ass alternative (Did you not think I could actually keep talking about marshmallow texture for four straight sentences? Watch out). The ideal, of course, would be those mini-marshmallows that come in Swiss Miss packets, or sometimes in craft stores with booths that smell like epoxy paint, in dimebags tied off with curled ribbon and labeled Snowman Poop.
But on the seventh day, God said, ‘Let there be light!’ and there was. . .
This morning my sister stumbles in from a sleepover with a souvenir from her friend’s family’s trip to Amish Country: a 0.72lb bag of MICRO MARSHMALLOWS!!! Courtesy of Yoder’s Meat & Cheese Co. in Shipshewana, IN ($2.58). In America, anything is possible. You just have to trespass into the land of the electricity, automobile and Social Security free.
Totally worth it.